The Chickens Have Come Home to Roost

Springtime = warm weather, less clothes (usually tight) and weird hair-dos!  Being in the ghetto, as we are, you would be surprised at what we see that apparently they don't....due to lack of mirrors or friends that would tell them the truth!  Take a look-see.......

NYPD in the HOUSE

Would you believe that NYPD has finally made it to the scene?  A day late and  a dollar short!  Asking me if I knew they were selling drugs in the store and out front!  IDK about you, but I didn't see or say a thing!  Let's just say with our tax dollars and all of the technology, they should be able to figure it out without me being a vigilante! Talking about we need to check IDs, buddy y'all are soooooo late! That's why they can't stand us now!  We are on top of our game, now you get on top of yours! WOW! 

Is There a Full Moon?

Now, I agree the place should be clean, but it is Friday nite and my sweeper is out of order!  This wench has her nose all turned up and saying, "The lobby is disgusting, you need to sweep!"  I told her, " I would but you're riding it!"  Lord, I ask you to help me hold my tongue! 

How do you come into anywhere and really have no idea what you want to purchase?  If I could add up all the minutes used by folks inquiring and making decisions once they are up to the payment window, with a line out the door, I'd be totally rich!  Folks take a look at the selection, look at the prices that are below the merchandise on the flourescent circles and make your decision prior to getting to the window!  SMH!

And another thing, please use a little shhhhhh! shhhh! when buying your happy grass from the local street pharmacist!  It so isn't cute to engage in an argument about the quality of the product if front of everyone!  I can't believe folks sometimes and then to demand a refund?  That's the one thing that's non-refundable, rite? 

Now, I know I tell y'all this is the LIQ, but some folks have it twisted......customer asking for a half pint of ox-tails!  We don't carry that!  Got mad and everything.....girl you don't know what an ox-tail is?  Look, what I know is when you walk into the store you immediately know what it's not......no restaurant here, buddy!  SMH!

Kanye is Many Things.....

Guy just came in the LIQ and insisted that I show him Kanye West!  Kanye West?  To my knowledge, Kanye is still (though arrogant) a celebrity NOT a drink!  He was asking for cognac....hmmmm!  Cognac...Kanye, I totally get where he could've been confused!  WTH?  See what I mean about the 'hood renaming stuff?

Don't Even Try It!

Didn't your mother tell you?  Just because it comes in your size does not mean you rush to the nearest retail store and purchase it!  It's just wrong and not cute!

You Too Can Prevent Forest Fires!

I know it's a short one, but I couldn't resist!  Who remembers Smokey the Bear?  If you're a guy and you look like him.....why bother asking someone out or for their number......or anything?  I'm just sayin'!  Hold on to that image for a minute!  LOL!

She Takes Pride in Her Work!

One of my regular ticket-scratchers takes so much pride in her work.....she can't wait for us to open so she can begin her dumpster dive!  She goes through all of the discarded scratches!  Then she dashes out of the store like she's stealing!  Lady, they are in the trash!  We don't want them anymore! 

Really?

I am feeling really dismal right now!  I cannot believe in 2010 on a Sunday that the block huggers are out in a friggin' rainstorm pushing their product and the addicts are smoking their product right on the street and in the LIQ!  Seriously, I turn my back for 2 seconds and here this guy is in the corner pulling on the pipe like it's a cigarette!  I threw him out and he wants to sell me a boombox!  No, I don't want your boombox, but I do want you to get a life and get better!  Here's to feelin' really frustrated with both the pusher and the addicted!  SMH!

Shame on McDonald's

Folks IDK about you, but it seems that Mickey D's has screwed it up for folks in the retail business!  They seem to think it's OK to simply point at pictures, grunt, jump up-and-down or whatever to keep from asking for whatever they want!  I'm from the world of communication.....what planet are they from?  I wonder!

It Is What It is?

Well, another weekend in the 'hood!  Ain't nothing changed but the day on the calendar.....check it.  How bad is your breathe if I can smell it through 6 inches of plexiglass?  I mean, is it difficult to practice good oral hygiene and you're playing $20 in numbers?  You could have skipped the $1 and a dream for one day and brushed and flossed!  I know you guys have noticed this is a common complaint from me!  It's serious! 

Another thing, we know your ass is broke if you gotta take your money out (all of it) and count it in the LIQ!  We don't care how much loot you have!  Your best bet in this 'hood is to tuck all that "other people's dough" back into your low-rider jeans and keep it movin'!  SMH!  That is so 5th grade! Doesn't he look like a police report gettin' ready to happen?

I guess this is for my men.....is there ever a time when there's too many breasts?  I mean, I've seen my share of the the worst case scenarios here at the LIQ.....take a look on the right and left and let me know if that's still OK?

Sutter House!

Let me get some of the Charter-stuff from Sutter House!  I know y'all got it!  What are you talking about sir? Do you mean Chardonnay by Sutter Home?  That we have....we're all out of Sutter House!

The Eyes Have It!

I really feel for folks that have disorders; however, I can't resist when they get plum nasty with a sista!  I mean to the point of shouting at me to get my attention at the customer window.  Hello!  It's not my fault she can't see me cause I was standing in front of her all along!  I just don't get it!  I kept telling her I was there to help her, but she seemed not to be able to hear or see me!  SMH! 

Sunday's Are Still A Trip!

Remember the drunk jogger that jogged in to buy a bottle of Smirnoff to finish her jog?  Well, she returned saying she didn't know there was a liquor store this close to the park she jogs in!  Hmmmm, anyway she bought 2 bottles of wine today and continued her jog! 

Then, enters stage left.....the stroke victim that can barely speak and wants to purchase the 2 airplane bottles of Smirnoff, but is spitting all over himself!  He shouldn't be drinking, right?  SMH! You should have seen the smile on his face when he got them!  PAR-TAY! 




Finally, a drunk man has lost his damn mind!  He told my son to get off his lazy ass and get his bottle of Johnnie Walker Black!  Now you know that did not go over well with me!  I threw his money back through the window and told him to have a nice day!  Take your business elsewhere!  I'm ready to go now!

Dr. Phil!

A man is upset because he spent his last dollar on a scratch ticket and lost his money! Now he can't eat and he says he has to go have sex with this ugly woman! WTH? I did not ask for this! He goes on to say that he always gets stuck with the ugly ones.  He tells me she's really, really ugly!  He says to me and the other man in the lobby to please give him some money so he doesn't have to go sleep with the enemy!  Now, y'all what's next? TMI!  These folks have taken things a little too far!

How Many Corner Boys Does It Take?

I'm just trying to figure out why every weekend, 8-10 dudes come in to buy a bottle.....and they are ALWAYS short!  They ain't got enough!  How come?  You huggin' these blocks morning to night and between y'all, you don't have enough for the Hood Kool-Aid (Montebello Iced T)?  I just can't!

Had It Up to Here!

Aight, I've been kind and I've been nice!  WTF is up with my people?  I mean, you have the old lady that keeps buying friggin' scratch tickets, I'm talking back and forth, back and forth....and for the record our take on the LOTTO is only 1% (so NO, I am not making a lot off of her!)!  With what she has won tonight she could have put a serious dent in the NYC budget deficit, but the ghetto granny just keeps on re-playing!  Fingers all black, looking like she's been flickin' a BIC!  I think she may need to call the number on the back of the ticket...Gambling Problems?  Call 877....I just can't! 

Then you have the would be pimps, hustlers and the like that keep thinking they have a snowballs chance in hell to holla at me!  Really?  NOT!  I am not your baby, your momma, your baby's momma and NOT in YOUR LEAGUE! 

And a another thing....what is up with the crowded teeth?  I know you remember the earlier post about the woman with all the teeth!  Well, today I have seen too many yuck-mouths!  I mean, their teeth are on top of each other screaming to let out!  They are the ones who want to lick their lips and grin!  Tip:  Until you utilize your good Medicaid insurance and visit an orthodontist....KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!  Please do us that favor!

See what happens when I wait a few days to post something?  SMH!