I realize it's been a minute, but I promise to do better.....I have a few burning questions for you guys out in LIQLand:
1)Can/should a woman frequent the liquor store?
2)Should pregnant women be allowed to purchase alcohol?
3) What is the best liquor for women?
Please post your responses!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
"Shooter Etiquette"
* No Sipping! Take it all!
* Purchase a round of shots all at once! Cheapskates not allowed!
* Always be the person to buy the first round! Folks will remember that, maybe?
* Always tip the first round! (Cuz if you don't you will spend too much later!)
* Return all the glasses to the same area when finished!
* Stacking is appreciated by many bartenders, unless u turn them over!
****from the Little Black Book of Shots
* Purchase a round of shots all at once! Cheapskates not allowed!
* Always be the person to buy the first round! Folks will remember that, maybe?
* Always tip the first round! (Cuz if you don't you will spend too much later!)
* Return all the glasses to the same area when finished!
* Stacking is appreciated by many bartenders, unless u turn them over!
****from the Little Black Book of Shots
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Sir Paul McCartney Slums in Ft.Greene
Excuse me miss, I need a Paul McCartney. WITW? Miss, he's a singer, not a liquor. You got him right there. Where? (I'm trying to get this priceless autograph!) Right where? Behind u, we're looking.......we finally cracked the code & found out Sir Paul McCartney has been camouflaged as a pint of Bacardi Light! Lord, people, people, people.....
National Tequila Day 2010 - Betcha Didn't Know
1) Tequila is only produced in a designated area that includes the Mexican states of Jalisco, Guanajuanto, Michoacan, Nayarit & Tamaulipas in the central part of the country.
2) Tequila became North America's first commercially produced alcohol.
3) Tequila is named after a small town of Tequila in Jalisco, Mexico.
4) There are 5 categories of blue agave: joven, blanco, reposado, anejo and extra anejo.
5) To appreciate the flavor, you should drive tequila at room temperature.
6) The person who harvests the agave plant is called a jimador.
2) Tequila became North America's first commercially produced alcohol.
3) Tequila is named after a small town of Tequila in Jalisco, Mexico.
4) There are 5 categories of blue agave: joven, blanco, reposado, anejo and extra anejo.
5) To appreciate the flavor, you should drive tequila at room temperature.
6) The person who harvests the agave plant is called a jimador.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I'm Callin' BCW!
True story! Woman walks very nicely dressed....come down here! I go to the end window...she says, I gotta stay here cuz my baby's in the car! She gets The Look! I need some liquor for a party! One time I left my baby in the car in Staten Island & they arrested me! I asked, how old is the baby? 7 months! WTH? I refused the sale cuz y'all know she ain't rite & hasn't learned her lesson!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
You Ain't Up on Dis!
OK, who remembers Vanderbilt perfume? I didn't remember the name but I knew the scent....Jamaican man passes me $ and the scent hit me! I said what's that scent! Grinning, he says "Chu dun know what da good stuff iz." Sir, you're absolutely rite, but I know I wore that as a girl and it's FOR WOMEN!
Blue NUVO
Sometimes the customer is NOT right! This nut was in here asking for some BLUE Nuvo! Everybody knows Nuvo is pink, except for Foolio! Turns out he was actually looking for Alize BLUE! Big difference!
Paranoid?
TIP: if you have to mute your celly or whisper your order, The LIQ is not the place for u!
Citibank AMEX
Uhmmmm, when did Citibank start issuing American Express cards? Especially, when the entire card looks like a photocopy! I was born on a day, just not yesterday! Miss you u don't know what u're talking about! Baby, I may not know many things but if it's connected to shopping.....I know it! Have a nice day but your card won't be used here!
Friday, July 16, 2010
SPANX Needed Here!
The Weather Girls are in the house! It's one thing to be plus-sized & confident and another thing to know when to stay in your lane. Size does matter sometimes! SMDH! You don't wanna know what I just saw somewhere between Chaka Khan & Aretha Franklin.......
It's Gettin' Hot in Here!
Real talk & not a lie! Lady walked into The LIQ, "Man, it's hot!" Never mind she had on a wool sweater & jeans! Uhm, Dr.KamalaUzzell & Soror Tracyavon, isn't that a mental health issue? I mean, when you wear seasonally inappropriate attire? Damn! New meaning to "it's gettin' hot in here...."!
Come On Down!
OK class all together now........"The $21.99 bottle of Grey Goose is?" "21.99?" Gosh, how did you guys get so smart! It really stumped me!
The LIQ Psychic Hotline
Miss, I'm psychic! I hit the 4 digit twice last week for $20k+& $10k this week! I know when the #s coming......aight, could u please give me the numbers to Mega Million so I don't have to idiots like u EVER again? Told y'all it's too hot for this mess!
What chu talkin' bout Willis?
Question: If the door is open, I'm sweatin' and the dog is passed out, does it appear we have A/C? It's too friggin' hot for ignorant questions!
Careless Whisper!
HINT: I am behind 6" of plexiglass, roasting like a pig with an apple in my mouth at the luau, if u whisper your order u WILL get the face!
Peebles
Looking at the monitor walking into The LIQ, mami I look good, rite? Uhm, the Peebles look only works if a.) you're petite, b.) you're cute or c.) it's Halloween; needless to say none of the above applied! SMH!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Wine
http://www.examiner.com/x-5719-NY-Wine-Shopping-Examiner~y2010m6d23-Greek-wines-embraced-by-NYC-and-its-wine-stores#
Smirnoff New Summer Flavors!
http://www.examiner.com/x-13174-Vodka-Examiner~y2010m6d30-Smirnoff-introduces-new-flavors-for-summer-forever#
Monday, July 5, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Your $ No Good Here!
10. Annoying Drunks
9. Elderly folk (yeah I said it!)
8. Vocally challenged folk(if u gotta press your neck 2 speak & get mad when we don't understand you, that's a problem!)
7. Litterbugs (throwing trash on the floor instead of the trashcan!)
6. Weedheads (been sleeping all day & come in here crankier than me!)
5. Folks that work in a fish market (make a shower pitstop first please!)
4. Folks with boomboxes demanding I turn our music down!)
3. Extreme multitaskers, trying to purchase from both LOTTO & liquor lines @ same time! (u get made when others get in front of u, stay your ass in one line!)
2. Indecisive ballers! (U want to argue about the price, but your chain hangin' low and u talkin' on your Boost Mobile fone!)
FINALLY.......
1. All the fake "clean" addicts bragging about how much clean time u have, but you're buying a pint of Wild Irish Rose! Stay the hell out of The LIQ!
9. Elderly folk (yeah I said it!)
8. Vocally challenged folk(if u gotta press your neck 2 speak & get mad when we don't understand you, that's a problem!)
7. Litterbugs (throwing trash on the floor instead of the trashcan!)
6. Weedheads (been sleeping all day & come in here crankier than me!)
5. Folks that work in a fish market (make a shower pitstop first please!)
4. Folks with boomboxes demanding I turn our music down!)
3. Extreme multitaskers, trying to purchase from both LOTTO & liquor lines @ same time! (u get made when others get in front of u, stay your ass in one line!)
2. Indecisive ballers! (U want to argue about the price, but your chain hangin' low and u talkin' on your Boost Mobile fone!)
FINALLY.......
1. All the fake "clean" addicts bragging about how much clean time u have, but you're buying a pint of Wild Irish Rose! Stay the hell out of The LIQ!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Guess Who's Back?
It has been forever! Same old thing at the LIQ! Folks are truly bugging since it got warm! What's with the footless hosiery masking as leggings? And is it really that serious to play Lotto in your PJ's? IDK....
Saturday, March 20, 2010
The Chickens Have Come Home to Roost
Springtime = warm weather, less clothes (usually tight) and weird hair-dos! Being in the ghetto, as we are, you would be surprised at what we see that apparently they don't....due to lack of mirrors or friends that would tell them the truth! Take a look-see.......
NYPD in the HOUSE
Would you believe that NYPD has finally made it to the scene? A day late and a dollar short! Asking me if I knew they were selling drugs in the store and out front! IDK about you, but I didn't see or say a thing! Let's just say with our tax dollars and all of the technology, they should be able to figure it out without me being a vigilante! Talking about we need to check IDs, buddy y'all are soooooo late! That's why they can't stand us now! We are on top of our game, now you get on top of yours! WOW!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Is There a Full Moon?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Kanye is Many Things.....
Guy just came in the LIQ and insisted that I show him Kanye West! Kanye West? To my knowledge, Kanye is still (though arrogant) a celebrity NOT a drink! He was asking for cognac....hmmmm! Cognac...Kanye, I totally get where he could've been confused! WTH? See what I mean about the 'hood renaming stuff?
Don't Even Try It!
You Too Can Prevent Forest Fires!
She Takes Pride in Her Work!
Really?
Friday, March 12, 2010
Shame on McDonald's
It Is What It is?
I guess this is for my men.....is there ever a time when there's too many breasts? I mean, I've seen my share of the the worst case scenarios here at the LIQ.....take a look on the right and left and let me know if that's still OK?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Sutter House!
Let me get some of the Charter-stuff from Sutter House! I know y'all got it! What are you talking about sir? Do you mean Chardonnay by Sutter Home? That we have....we're all out of Sutter House! 
The Eyes Have It!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Sunday's Are Still A Trip!
Finally, a drunk man has lost his damn mind! He told my son to get off his lazy ass and get his bottle of Johnnie Walker Black! Now you know that did not go over well with me! I threw his money back through the window and told him to have a nice day! Take your business elsewhere! I'm ready to go now!
Dr. Phil!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
How Many Corner Boys Does It Take?
Had It Up to Here!
Then you have the would be pimps, hustlers and the like that keep thinking they have a snowballs chance in hell to holla at me! Really? NOT! I am not your baby, your momma, your baby's momma and NOT in YOUR LEAGUE!
And a another thing....what is up with the crowded teeth? I know you remember the earlier post about the woman with all the teeth! Well, today I have seen too many yuck-mouths! I mean, their teeth are on top of each other screaming to let out! They are the ones who want to lick their lips and grin! Tip: Until you utilize your good Medicaid insurance and visit an orthodontist....KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Please do us that favor!
See what happens when I wait a few days to post something? SMH!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Remy Martin
A & J
Window Shopper!
Ghetto Liquor
"You know, where I'm from...the Ghetto Liquor is mad cheap. You know the Hennessy and all that, it's the wine dat be costing! This stuff is crazy man. I shoulda bought it from home.".......SMH! Folk!
Pet Bows!
Infamous Beggar Breaks Down!
The infamous beggar....AKA, $ Lady had break down in front of the LIQ this a.m.! She cussed each and every dealer out, "Y'all wanna use my apartment as a hotel and sleep over, but y'all can't help me out with a $1!" I ask you honest, hard-working taxpayers.....why would you pay for this woman to have a nice 1-bedroom apartment for her to be a beggar and rent out her space? SMH!
Mount Chablis!
I am a firm believer of not drinking something you cannot say or pronounce! We had a customer come in and ask for Mount Chablis! What he meant was Carlo Rossi! SMH!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Solution 2 Poverty!
Sometimes...no, most of the time, I wonder where do folks get the money to spend $100 on Lotto and $75 for a bottle? Then, they complain that they cannot afford their subsidized rent which usually amounts to a measly $550, including lights and gas! I wonder......
I Still Can't Hear You!
Miss, is Lotto closed? No, sir...what would you like? I can't hear you! Sir, what would you like? Miss, I cannot hear you! Then, he storms off angry! IDK why! Did I forget to mention he had on three hats and his hood tied closed! Stupid folks!
How Much Is The Bottle In the Window?
Seriously.....if another brainiac asks me how much the bottle is while inserting the price....I'm gonna lose it! It's exactly what you just said it was! Ding Dong!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Infamous Beggar
She just won't quit! Every single day, I tell this chick she cannot ask my customers for spare change and everyday, she feels the need to tell me I'm interfering with her potential to make a profit! What!?! I tell the lady that it is illegal to panhandle in NYC! What does she care? Nada! I can't stand it! This is the same wench that gets upset if folks don't give her a $1! She could clean a floor somewhere, right?
I Just Don't Understand!
OK, guys....when you get in your house and it's cold and rainy outside, would you leave your house repeatedly to purchase scratch tickets? I mean, just one? I simply can't wrap my head around it....
You Have All Played Monopoly, Right?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Ever Wonder?
Ever wonder folks get the money to play $40/$50 numbers a day or buy countless scratch offs all day everyday? If you know, please advise.....
Braids, Cornrows and Such...
I lie to you not....grown man 40+ with cornrow, braids or whatever you wanna call them! Seriously? Then there's another dude, stuck hopelessly in the 70's....you know on some "I'm Gonna Get Ya' Sucker" stuff! He where's the felt bowler hat (no matter what the temperature) and the platform shoes! SMH!
Honey, Are You OK?
How do you tell the cute, little old lady that nothing's wrong and it's actually her bad breathe that's bringing tears to your eyes? I'm just saying....everytime she comes here, she asks the same question and I am forced to lie! What's a good ol' Southern girl to do?
Grown Men....
Why must you stand in front of and in the LIQ to sell your stuff? Then you get angry when I say you can't! WTF? Isn't it bad enough that you're able-bodied, grown and slingin'? My 13-year-old said, "Mom, what are they doing? Why can't they work?" IDK! Why can't they work? Is it "The Man" or themselves holdin' them back? SMH!
Do I Really Have to Touch That?
Folks come in and dig through the trash and then lick their fingers to give me money! Do I really have to touch that or is that being uppity? Those of you who know me, know I give them the face!
Fixed Incomes?
How do you feel about folks on a fixed income using it to purchase scratch offs and play LOTTO? Well, even though it patronizes my establishment, it still burns me up! The minute the funds hit their accounts, here they go and then they get upset when they are broke! Folks let me know how you feel......
Saturday, February 20, 2010
C'mon!
Zimpindale? Really? OK, I am going to draw the line....if you can't say, don't drink it! ZIN-FIN-DEL! Only a few more minutes of murdering the hits here at the LIQ!
Why Do Our Sisters Do This?
We have polls in the middle of the store and music is playing.....why did the girls jump on the poles and begin to wind down? We gotta start acting like ladies! Then the guy started to berate her and tell her how beautiful she was.....SMH! Did I mention, she has a face only a mother could love! LOL! I mean, I am sure she is a nice person and all, but maybe her self esteem is a bit low, hence the public pole dancing....sorry no tips tonite!
I Am The Manager!
Don't you just love it when folks try to negotiate your prices. "Yo, I can get that in my hood for like $10!" Did I mention it was a liter of Hennessy? Really? Well, you don't have to buy it here! SMH!
Another Addition
We are now serving "Assoloot".....yep! That's what the lady asked for! We sold her the Absolut instead.....she paid and was quite happy!
In The Hood...We Rename Everything
.....we have yet another wine to add to our list of "I don't know what I'm drinking....I think I saw it on TV or heard in a song?". The new addition is Armer Hammer....IDK about you but I think Arm & Hammer makes baking soda among other things, but not wine. Perhaps they were looking for Arbor Mist? One nevers knows....one thing we do know? The hood will rename things in a minute!
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